Though it was hard for her to remember but she wanted to remember it! She was becoming a bride and the stories of girls not being virgins and the revenge of their grooms, the utter sadness and shame of their families, and the scandlous life she was going to lead scared her the most!! She did nothing wrong! She was just a victim and moreover a baby!! What was devastating was that she didn't remember if anything more the touching was happening! It was like her memory got frozen for certain reasons! The story of girls being killed in their wedding days because of their virginity being lost! What if people thought that she lost it on her own will because she was flirty?! What if that caused a big scandal to her family!!?
A year later, she got sick and had to visit the doctor frequently. She was havin problems with her PMS. She had to do to this check up to make sure everything is alright but she was hesitant to be exposed. That was when the doctor told her "don't worry, I am not gonna touch your virginity layer, I can see it clearly so no worries"!! She cried and cried and cried! She later understood that it wasn't a dream! It was merely beautiful reality!
She heard the news and was in utter shock! He got engaged and he was getting married!! She saw the girl and felt a strange sense pity mixed with disgust for her! He was an animal!! How can he be a father for God's sake when he himself betrays childhood and an innocent soul!! She had more than once thought of calling her and telling her all the story! She just couldn't! "That would make a scandal" she thought. It would ruin the relationship between her father and uncle which she would never agree on! If the son is an animal in the shape of a human being, the uncle has nothing to do with it!!
The wedding date was soon! She felt disgusted everytime someone mentioned his name or talked about his marriage preparations! The invitaions came and her sisters were excited to attend thier eldest cousin's fancy wedding.
She didn't wanna go. Her sisters pushed and pushed but she was still against it. Her dad asked her to go and she obeyed hesitantly. She couldn't deny an order from him at all.
She went and saw the bride all dressed up with a fancy dress full of crystals and feathers. She was just staring, not hearing, not seeing anything! All what was in her mind was he naked before her asking her to touch his penis...!
"The groom is coming to the hall", they announced!
She couldn't move her legs! She was stoned! Seeing him would be the 1st time in how many years?! 12 or 13 years! She wished the earth could swallow her and not to see him holding hands with his bride who had been blinded by him!
She saw his ugly face! He was handsome as everybody said but to her he was a monster and a very distorted image of the devil in a human form!
She did nothing! She just raised her hands and prayed! She prayed to God from the bottom of her broken heart! She asked God never to give him kids ever!!
It has been 7 years since he got married now and till now he doesn't have a single child. Though the doctors say that everything is OK!! She thanked God everytime she heard his family praying for him to have kids! No, No, No, she is not cruel or cold blooded! Her wound would never be healed! Not having kids is a bless from God! She is sure that he knows the reason behind it!!
P.S. That wasn't any thing but reality. Actually it is my real story and the childhood I lived I guess. Surprisingly enough, A and I became close friends not knowing that both of our childhoods were betrayed by our so called relatives. A's victimizer whom you can call her brother "sorry I don't call that a brother" has been married for 6 years now and is also with no kids. "A" asked from the God the same thing I asked for!!
It's a history for both of us now but it still aches. I was hesitant to mention the fact that it's my story but so what!! I have been a victim!! I have never talked about this to any of my family members, even my best friends knew it about it only a few years ago.
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