Sunday, 6 September 2009

It's the Fourth year daddy


Dear Dad,
Four years have passed since they day you said goodbye dad. No, you didn't say goodbye, you just left without saying a word! And I can never forget that!
I have been trying hard to go on with my life. I thought I did but I guess I was just lying on myself!
Your room is still closed! No one dares to open it because we all know, sorrow and tears will be back again!
Maybe I didn't tell you this before but the day you had your heart attack and was rushed to the E.R, your room was locked and we couldn't find the keys! My brother borke the door down when the hospital asked for your ID card. We all thought that it's just for admitting you in the hospital but none of us suspected it being taken to complete the death procedure! It has been locked ever since!
So many things have changed in our family and we are still missing you big time. I am no longer the spoiled girl you used to pamper for there would never be anyone to replace you. You were the only person I used to cry to and now I just can't do it! I am stronger and I am still the good girl you have always known!
It's Ramadan daddy. I miss preparing your tray of food, none fried of course because of your diabetese. I miss you breaking your fasting on the voice of Quraan in the living room and I miss your comments of the food or juice I made. There was some criticism that made me upset a few days, I swear to God, I miss it so much! I wouldn't mind having sever criticism all the time if you were back for an hour!! I would pay dearly for it I swear!
Writing to you helped me a lot but there are two things I am really suffering from. Since the day you left, I haven't been able to sit on your favorite chair in the living room when you used to watch the telly. I have not been able to say your name or talk about your memories in front of any family member! Even when they mention you and ask God to have mercy on you, I can't say amen to that !! My tongue feels so heavy whenever I try to!
I would kill myself if I ever forgotten you!!
I love you
Yours,
S

24 comments:

Bliss said...

الله يرحمه ويغفرله ويدخله فسيح جناته :(

Mone said...

sorry to read that,
alah yer7amah o ye'3fer lah ya rab o gamee3 amwat el moslemeen...

SKITTLES said...

hmm.. missing someone you love is so hard. especially when you can only see them in your dreams, when they're really gone..

Allah yr7mah w ymsa7 3la galbich a rab ;*

sara said...

MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU DEARIE <3

*squashy huggy hug*

mmmmmmmwah <3

Mina said...

That must have been hard for you to write sis, I hope Allah eases your pain every step of the way, and he grants your dad Janatul fardous, ameen...Love you xXx

Dr.Smart CoOKie said...

Allah yr7mh.

Naseem said...

a very touching letter :'(

god bless his soul

..::Amu::.. said...

Allah ye7ama..

Puça said...

How sweet,

it bet it took you a lot of tears to put down this words.

Just think he's able to see you and that he loves you and protects you and is closer to you than you can imagine.

C said...

Awww babes! Be strong, I will be there for you babes. I'm so sad and sorry to know that :(

God bless your father's soul

Anonymous said...

Slm,know xactly how u feel,lost my brother 10yrs ago-he was only 9yrs old-and the heartache and memories are stl in me.may Allah grant ur dad Jannatul firdaus,aamin. Wud love to meet u one day,insha'allah.

Hope said...

الله يرحمه و يغمد روحه الجنه
it must B really hard 4 u ..
I'm sure he's proud if u .. so, live ur life the best way u can .. for his sake
I'm sure he wouldn't wanna c u sad or upset
may his soul rest in peace

just a bunch of thoughts said...

*hugs*

may he rest in peace, & may Allah have mercy on his soul...

keep writing to him dear... letting it out in a any way is a good way for healing.

be strong dear,
Allah be with you

eshda3wa said...

you would never forget him

hes a part of your being

and no one expects you too

allah yr7ama eb ra7mita elwas3a

Another-Penelope said...

stay stronger its what your dad want, allah yer7ama.

Faith said...

<3 <3

TOUCHE' said...

May God grant him in his great mercy.

I hope your wound heal with time

Hidden Note said...

ربي يرحمه و يسكنه جناته..
I'm sorry for your loss..

'liya said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad. This post is so emotional, it brought tears to my eyes. *Hug*

ohDear!! said...

Allah yer7amah babe :)

His Sweetheart said...

Thank you all, thank you

Anonymous, I will be pleased to meet you dear :)

MarjnHomer said...

Just remember "To Allah we belong and to him we shall return"

Texan in UAE said...

:(((( aww! so sad! may Allah give you and your family patience and give your father jannah and forgive him his sins and reunite all of y'all ameen :(

Mohammad Al-Jasmi said...

Salam 3laikum Sweetheart :)
well this is very touching, i can imagine your feeling while writing this post. I felt that you must be very close to your father but you know this is the cycle of life, everyone has to go someday [May ALLAH(SWT) grant him Jannat-ul-Firdous and guide us to the right path, AMEEN!]

well i think we can never forget our loved ones but we human can heal ourselves by time, I read somewhere that "Time is the best healer".

well its just my opinion but you should find now Mr. Right for yourself ;D get married, insh-ALLAH when another man will enter in your life and you'll have kids, your wounds will start to heal itself. Insh-ALLAH then you'll remember your Father as happy loving memory, not a sorrow one.
[sorry if you felt this last paragraph a bit unpleasent, i beg your pardon :(] but we want to see you a happy teacher :D