Things have really been deteriorating lately... Things are not O.K..! I can't even be optimistic and say it will be O.K..! I'm just scared.. I'm just hiding in my cocoon waiting.. I don't know even what to expect.. I hate going home thinking bad news are awaiting.. I hate calling at home chicking how things are going.. I hate the beebing part when I call and nobody answers and my own hallucinations start thinking of what kind of crisis is happening at home.. I'm scared.. No one understands that.. I'm scattered in my own world and no one even could tell because I am damn good in smiling.
My niece has been bedridden for 6 days, just got discharged yesterday and she is sick again..! I'm terrified and you can't imagine how much I'm.. I am scared I'd lose her like I lost her bother, my dad, my 2 uncles, my 2 grandparents, and my grandmother..! I'm sick of death stealing every dear one away with no permission at all.! I'm mad at death for being so cruel..! I'm pissed at death for choosing good people to departure..! I'm angry at death for leaving the bad people behind wandering and doing whatever evil thing they might think of!!
Two days after Khalid met Hind at her house while waiting for Faisal her brother, he left to the UK with his father who was diagnosed with cancer. It was shocking how he was healthy and all of a sudden found out that he is dying in 2 months.
He was a lonely child as his mother had several miscarriages that ended up with pain to Khalid, his mother and dad. He resigned from his work making a stop to every single accomplishment he has done. He took his dad to the UK as he was told about one of the best hospitals to treat cancer in the whole world.
It was very hard on him to see his dad going through chemo therapy but he had to be tough, to endure the pain, to hold his dad's hand and tell him that it will be alright.
Faisal was there for him all the time though was still devastated with the sudden death of his beloved father. As Khalid was googling some information online, he landed on a blog as the title enchanted him. It was entitled "Death took you away?!, it never did daddy". His eyes went through it as he read it all.
He wondered who was that girl behind it. He was touched because of all the pain inside her. She was shaking yet very strong. He envied her and wondered if he would have the same strength if he lost his dad. He closed his eyes in agony and wished he would die before he loses his dear father.
Four days after, he died. He left his loyal son struggling in a country he hasn't made a single friend in. He couldn't take the pain. He couldn't go back to Saudi Arabia and see all the places and faces his dad used to see. A very dark curtain covered his eyes. He sighed in despair and felt that life is useless after his dad..
P.S. Sorry for not posting this part last week. Sorry for not keeping it long enough to satisfy your hunger. I hardly wrote it. I'm waiting for an inspiration so that I continue in a high spirit :)
Ever since her father passed away, she lost her lively spirit. She lost her backbone, the love of her life, and her inspiration in life. Her mom has gone bonkers and everything else has just been different. Their house has been lifeless and empty. She couldn't bear the idea of seeing her uncles. Uncle Fahad looks exactly like her dad and that broken look in uncle Abdullah's eyes make her tear.
How could someone who represents everything in your life just disappear with no permission!? Why death is so cruel! "Why so sudden daddy"? was the question she has never found an answer for. She spent 3 years in ultimate denial. She couldn't even use the past tense when she thinks of him. She has never talked about him in front of anyone of her family members. He has never complained of any heart problems and all of a sudden he died of heart attack!!
A friend of hers advised her to start her own blog since she finds it her hard to talk about her deceased father. She did and the 1st post she wrote was about him. She had many condolences from strangers she has never met. It helped her a lot in taking out the loads of burden sitting on her chest.
She has made many online friends and got to befriend bloggers from different cultural backgrounds. She loved her blog, loved the attention she got, and loved the fans she never thought she would get. She has always wondered who are these "anonymous" people who leave comments under her blog! Why "anonymous"!? While checking her email one day, she received an email from a stranger entitled "why the Blackness"?! It was from one of those anonymous commenters. She quickly clicked on the email which said:
I had the pleasure to stumble upon your blog the other day, it was another uncontrolled Internet sailing of mine :) .... sailings that keep astonishing me by the findings. I only have one question to ask ..... why the blackness !! .... really .... I can just tell you that I've never ever seen a black blog in my whole Internet life (and that's long ...trust me:) ) ..... it's not like I have the right to dictate things here ...... but I think I can suggest ...... no matter how much you like black (I do sometimes :) ) .... please change it ..... and change it not only here .... in your whole life if you could .....
I didn't find a contact me form on your blog ...... so here I am .... sorry for the interruption :)
It was her 18th birthday as her parents and brothers were throwing her a surprise party. She was their only girl, among 3 brothers. Ibrahim was the eldest, 29 years old, a widower with two cute girls. He was married to Sara, the girl he fought the world for. Sara was his cousin. They have been in love since they were young. Everbody objected her when he announced that he wants to marry her due to the bad relationship between her dad and his. Luckily enough, she was the reason the two families got reunited again when Sara had her 1st baby, Lama.
It was one reason that made Ibrahim grew fonder of her. She was his queen and the only woman he could ever see. A year after, Sara got pregnant again. After long months of pregnancy, she started to feel labour pain. She called Ibrahim who rushed like crazy to take her to the hospital. 3 hours passed and she was still in the LAD room with Ibrahim, his sister, mother, and mother-in-law praying outside for her.
The doctor came out congratulating them on their new princess. "We tried our best" said the doctor but Sara had to go. Silence overwhelmed the place. Everybody was in disbelief but when Ibrahim's mother went to hug him, it snapped him out. He cried and weeped like a baby.He lost his soul mate, his love, his friend, his wife, and the mother of his two babies.
Joory, his little princess is now two years old, yet Ibrahim is still not himself.Their bedroom has been locked ever since. He has been sleeping in the guest room and he hasn't hugged nor kissed Joory at all, ever since her mom died. He would buy her clothes, milk and diapers but would never hold her.
Faisal came in the middle among her three brothers. He was the closest to her heart and the most understanding. He was 18 when he went on his own to UK to study his bachelor degree. He came back home with an honor degree which made her parents gay. A few weeks later, he had many offers in front of him, two of them were in UK. He was genuis and he deserved it. He didn't want to leave his house again though so, he accepted to work in Saudi Arabia. So many things have happened and Ibrahim needed a brother beside him.
Abdulaziz was the youngest, 10 years old and everybody's pet. He is the one when was asked what do you want to be when you grow up who answered saying " Train Driver".
Although Hind was only 18, a teenager as it should be, she was a mature woman. Seeing Ibrahim, her role model Romeo, shattering into pieces due to the loss of his wife, broke her heart. She wonderedif one day, she would find a guy who will be ready to kill for her. She has seen and heard of the million stories of girls' hearts being broken. However, deep inside, she had afeeling that her guy will be the one who compeletes her, the one who will never make her cry, the one who will never hurt her even if it was her mistake, the only one who if found out that she is in need, will run to give her a hug.
She loved him, loved everything about him. She celebrated her 19th birthday and then 2 days after, she got married to him. Everybody objected, the age issue was one reason. She was daddy's girl though. Her dad loved her so much that he couldn't say no. She was still young when her heart skipped a beat when he accidently saw her while she was going out.
Her soft brown hair locks were the 1st thing he noticed. She raised her head because she felt someone's presence around. Their eyes met. He gasped and she couldn't utter a word. Her mobile rang and that's what woke her up. He quickly opened the door and left. She rode her car and couldn't stop thinking about him. She didn't know who it was. She coudln't dare to ask too. All what she remembers is that he was a tall tanned guy with a yellow T-Shirt and blue jeans.
3 hours later, she got back home, tried to ask if any staranger came home for any of her brothers. No one came apparently as her mum said. What she didn't know is that he has been waiting outside for her. Stalking her wasn't his intention. He just wanted to make sure that she is not a visitor. He wanted her to be living in that house, why? He had no clue! He was in his car when her ride came back home. She was out forlunch with one of her friends he assumed. She kissed her friend goodbye and left. He could tell that her mobile was ringing as she was searching inside her LV. He could see her smile behind the veil she was wearing as she answered hello. She got in. He was surprised that it has been 10 minutes and he is still out waiting!!
She has wished to see him again but he never showed up. His name was Khalid, one of her brother's friends. She started checking every guy's face when out thinking it's him. She wondered if it's love but dismissed that idea so quickly. How could she love someone who she just saw for a minute!! Someone who doesn't even hold a name!!
So, I finally started my new job after a month of running around. Been a week now. I hated my 1st day, hated half of the 2nd day, liked the 3rd, loved the 4th and the 5th.
What-made-you-go-for-this-job is the cliche i've been hearing from EVERYBODY!! Even Jules my supervisor said that! I got tired from repeating the same answer over and over! I'm not materialistic at all! Working for me is something sacred, big comittment too! If I didn't like the place I am working at, didn't feel the sense of belonging that I'm looking for, why the heck would I spend my life at it?! It's draining you know what I'm talking about?!
It was my 1st day when the girl handling the job before me gave me her analysis of the staff. To be honest, I was REALLY shocked! She didn't even mention one positive aspect!! All the men and women working there are evils!! I mean ALL!! I went home and went on thinking all day long! What if I made the wrong choice?! What if what she is saying is true?! Would I go through the same agony AGAIN!!?
What I did is that I ignored everything she said! I even FORGOT, literally forgot what she said!! I don't like to analyse people from the 1st time actually. So far, they are nice, very cooperative and helpful indeed. Today, one of them opened her heart to me and told me about her future plans and that there is a guy that she likes hahaha! I just opened my mouth widely. It's a great feeling when it's your 1st week at the job and someone over there opens up her heart to you! That really meant a lot to me, being trustworthy I mean. I was all the way supportive if you're asking what was my opinion lol. Lizzy, is divorced, been a single mom for 10 years so, why not give it a try!!. She said he is 10 years younger, that's what is kind of hindering her. For me, age is never an issue, though I don't know if I will marry a guy who is younger than me, probably because I am still young myself lol.
Anyways, it has been a VERY busy week! I'm on vacation now for 5 days :D
P.S. Although, I hate Eid but I donno why I am liking it this year LOL! Happy Eid dear fellows :D
I can't recall all the names of those who emailed me checking on me to thank them enough! Just be sure that you are the best! You were able to draw a big smile on my face knowing that I matter for you :)
29th December was the last time I updated my dear blog! I mean it when I say it's "dear" and I totally mean when I say I miss it!!
Things have been extremely hard! Fortunately, they are getting better :)
Hmmm, donno what to start with because many things got changed since I last posted! Well, I quit work LOL! Not new to me I know. I got 3 tempting offers and I am studying them. Well, I've already made up my mind lol
My eldest brother got married last July. He is extremely happy with the girl I chose for him hehehe!
We had a new member added to my family, a nephew to be exact who will be 1 year old in a few days.
Been 4 days for me in bed! A very severe flu attacked me when I kissed my brother. So, no more kisses whatsoever! I have just left bed, got a shot on the butt which seems to be working well LOL
I am in a vacation now, and yes I do cook everyday lol! Not the chef but a senior assistant lol
P.S. Happy belated Ramdan, Christmas, New Year, birthday to everyone whom I missed.