Four years have passed since they day you said goodbye dad. No, you didn't say goodbye, you just left without saying a word! And I can never forget that!
I have been trying hard to go on with my life. I thought I did but I guess I was just lying on myself!
Your room is still closed! No one dares to open it because we all know, sorrow and tears will be back again!
Maybe I didn't tell you this before but the day you had your heart attack and was rushed to the E.R, your room was locked and we couldn't find the keys! My brother borke the door down when the hospital asked for your ID card. We all thought that it's just for admitting you in the hospital but none of us suspected it being taken to complete the death procedure! It has been locked ever since!
So many things have changed in our family and we are still missing you big time. I am no longer the spoiled girl you used to pamper for there would never be anyone to replace you. You were the only person I used to cry to and now I just can't do it! I am stronger and I am still the good girl you have always known!
It's Ramadan daddy. I miss preparing your tray of food, none fried of course because of your diabetese. I miss you breaking your fasting on the voice of Quraan in the living room and I miss your comments of the food or juice I made. There was some criticism that made me upset a few days, I swear to God, I miss it so much! I wouldn't mind having sever criticism all the time if you were back for an hour!! I would pay dearly for it I swear!
Writing to you helped me a lot but there are two things I am really suffering from. Since the day you left, I haven't been able to sit on your favorite chair in the living room when you used to watch the telly. I have not been able to say your name or talk about your memories in front of any family member! Even when they mention you and ask God to have mercy on you, I can't say amen to that !! My tongue feels so heavy whenever I try to!
I would kill myself if I ever forgotten you!!
I love you