Tuesday, 29 December 2009

Can I undo it PLEASE!!

I am sorry all, I have lost my writing appetite. My niece is sick... That has been confirmed by many doctors now. She is fragile and tiny. She is 8 months old yet unable to hold her neck still. She should have started crawling now but she is even unable to sit. Just the same sympotms her deceased brother suffered from..Heridatry issues. You can't imagine how much going back home after work scares me!! I can't stop the images of what if I came to the house and heard her death news?! What would happen to my poor loving sister whose wounds haven't recovered yet from the death of her own son who died 10 years ago!! Would she be insane again?! Would the black clouds visit our house again, after my brother my two grandparents, my grandmother, my nephew, my dad, and my two uncles loss?!! Is there more to come?!

I accepted low salary at a tiring and blood sucking job just because I want to escape the gloomy atmosphere at my house. Don't get me wrong, my family is really patient and they don't complain but what kills is that each one of us is quiet, just waiting, just thinking, and just dreaming and praying.

In my last post, I talked about "Sara and Summer", the two lovely girls who study in my Grade 1 class and how torn they are because of their ill-relationship between their mum and dad which ended up with nothing but divorce.

Sara hasn't spoken a word since she joined school. If I pushed her to talk, she would whisper in my ears. Even her friends keep on asking why doesn't she talk!!

Summer had been more active than Sara, at least her voice was heard. However, Summer has totally collapsed since last month. I would call her name 5 times but she wouldn't reply as if she had just blacked out. Her behaviour changed for she became so quiet, she shivers all the time, and she just draws on her desk.

Her case has been occupying my mind as well as the other teachers. The only thing I feared was she being sexually harrassed. I took her aside one day, gave her some candies and asked her if there is anybody who touches her in her special area. She said yes.. but then said no.. I didn't know what to believe for she is a kid and sometimes kids would misunderstand things or get perplexed.

I met her dad today, sorry for my language but her dad is such an ass!! I don't know how I managed and didn't hit him in the face today.!!

He hasn't found a job till now, he has moved to Saudi for 6 months now and is still unemployed!! His dad is retired and his mum calls her grandchildren "donkeys" since they are the result of their stupid dad's behaviour. His 2 girls come to the school, spend 7 hours every day with one sandwhich and one juice only!! My other students' mums called me saying that their daughters put extra food for Summer and Sara to eat because they are always hungry. Today I told him that even if you're poor, a bag of sandwhich which contains 8 sandwhiches costs only 1 Riyal!! So, putting 2 sandwhiches won't bother!! Imagine what he said " No, it's not poorness but 1 sandwhich is enough for a 30 minute break"!!I told him they are only 7, they run and play and need energy and they finish this sandwhich in the 1st 5 minutes!!

I informed him about Summer's behaviour and how I am really worried that the child might be sexully harrassed. Imagine what he said!!?! He said "Yes, they had been.."!! Not only Summer, Sara and David were molested too..

I swear my blood was boiling and I stood up planning to hit him or even spit on his face!! He hardly spoke after I pushed him to and told us their tragic story..

Their mum was an addict, alchoholic, and moreover a prostitute.. The social service in US has arrested the mum and started an investigation about the 2 girls and their brother David. He had a restrain order from the court he said that he shouldn't approach them!! I told him how come you're restrained when you're their own father!! Did you honestly molest them?! He said No, but you know how americans treat Saudis!! I was like, come on! I can't buy this crap! Even if you have been ill-treated by the US, didn't you go back to the Saudi Embassy and ask for help?! He said yes but they didn't do anything!!

They were sexually harrassed but they don't know by who...

I can't write anymore...I am sorry..

Monday, 9 November 2009

Just Ranting

To get myself out of the dull and gloomy environment I have been living in, I joined an international school. Since I love kids the most, I decided to teach grade 1-2 English. It has been 5 weeks for now. It's too much work, little payment comapred to my previous jobs but at least I am enjoying it. Those kids make my day with doses of hugs and kisses everyday.

I am being called "mama" sometimes which tingles me and sometimes makes me drop a tear or two.

And I am still jobs hunting too and hopefully I will get a great job soon.

I wanna talk about my grade 1 girls today. I love them so much! They are simply adorable. I can't ignore the fact that Abrar with her stubborness makes me crazy! Gosh I have never seen a 6 years old kid who has such a big head!! On the other hand, Malak's geniusness draws a smile on my face everyday when I see her. Rawan, the cutest girl ever never fails to make me laugh.

Today, I went to school with a yellow T-shirt with an illustration of a naughty girl who says "I don't want to be sweet" because I was teaching them how to confront bullies like the girl on my T-shirt. I had my hair dried and wore a yellow head band. Dana came to hug me in the middle of the class so I bent on my knees to hold her tight and that's when she smelled my hair. She said it smells very good. In less than a second, I had all my 12 girls jumping on me asking me to smell my hair hhhh. It was surprising but they made me laugh so hard! One of the girls asked for the name of my shampoo too lol.

Three weeks ago, Sara and Summer joined my 1st grade class. They used to live in US but since their parents got divorced, their father brought them to Saudi. They are halfies, american mom and a Saudi dad and the are the result of those stupid marriage that Saudis fall for when they fall in love with foriegners.

It has been 3 weeks now and Sara has hardly spoken a word and when she speaks she whispers in my ears only! Summer is another story, she just sings one of the songs she learnt in Day Care back in U.S. Both girls just came to Saudi 2 months ago and suffered a great deal from negligence, fightings, and divorce. They live with their grandfather and their grandmother who don't know a single English word whilst Sara and Summer know no Arabic at all!! I had to practice for a while not to mention the word "mama" in grade one because I don't want to hurt their feelings so I just stick to the word "dad" when it comes to homework or quizes.

Noor, is the girl with the most angelic face ever. I go hug and kiss her whenever she passes by. Today, I was told by the French teacher that Noor lost her dad 7 months ago due to a heart attack. One would never imagine what the loss of my dad has done to me when I am a 27 years old!! How would that be to a 7 years old girl!?

Today, she pointed at my sneakers and said "Ms, my dad has one that looks like your sneaker"! I was devastated! She still talks about him as if he is alive! She even talked about the choclate and chips he gives her for her lunch. It took me 4 years of my life to start using past tense when I talk about my dad! And still, I can't talk about him next to my family. It's just one close friend of mine whome I talk to about my dad!! I can never imagine the loss she feels nor the pain that visits her when she wakes up, nor when she sees fathers picking up their daughters from the school! It'a lot to be understood by a little brain like hers..
P.S. Thanks a lot to everybody who emailed me checking on me and asking me to be back to blogging again. I can't promise to be fully back but I promise I will try :)
P.P.S. That's me in the picture above as my girls see me lol

Wednesday, 23 September 2009

My mind is lost...

I can't say I am sorry again for not updating my blog because you got bored with the sam excuse I know! I am not here to be called a "grouch" as a friend called me once when I was trying to vent!

No one seems to understand or believe because they haven't been through it before! They haven't lived the pain I lived!!

I can never forget the day when I came back from college and saw hundreds of women going inside our house in the early afternoon! It never came to my mind that I lost my nephew! I was devastated! My sister, the closest to my heart was going mad!! "You haven't seen him" she said while crying loudly!! I swear I can still see her in her prayer mat weeping! I don't want that to happen ever again!
He died over physical disability and the reason was that his mom is married to my cousin. Marrying relatives in our family causes physical disabilities to their babies. It was something no one paid attention to 12 years ago. It wasn't only my nephew, we lost many children in the family.
Ramadan came and finished and so did Eid, and we haven't felt either! Memories of dad and my uncle overwhelmed. What made it worse is my 4 months old Joory. She is the prettiest girl ever. She is my deceased nephew's sister and now symptoms of the same disease have been shown on her. Everything in her reminds us of him. She is too tiny, she hasn't grown much since she was born and she is a bit late in movement for kids at her age!
I donno what to say! I just wish that it's just hallucinations! Her mom crying and weeping is just because she is worried nothing more! I am really praying to God to stengthen her and keep her safe us!!
Please God, I can't bear any more death in the family! Please!

Sunday, 6 September 2009

It's the Fourth year daddy

Dear Dad,
Four years have passed since they day you said goodbye dad. No, you didn't say goodbye, you just left without saying a word! And I can never forget that!
I have been trying hard to go on with my life. I thought I did but I guess I was just lying on myself!
Your room is still closed! No one dares to open it because we all know, sorrow and tears will be back again!
Maybe I didn't tell you this before but the day you had your heart attack and was rushed to the E.R, your room was locked and we couldn't find the keys! My brother borke the door down when the hospital asked for your ID card. We all thought that it's just for admitting you in the hospital but none of us suspected it being taken to complete the death procedure! It has been locked ever since!
So many things have changed in our family and we are still missing you big time. I am no longer the spoiled girl you used to pamper for there would never be anyone to replace you. You were the only person I used to cry to and now I just can't do it! I am stronger and I am still the good girl you have always known!
It's Ramadan daddy. I miss preparing your tray of food, none fried of course because of your diabetese. I miss you breaking your fasting on the voice of Quraan in the living room and I miss your comments of the food or juice I made. There was some criticism that made me upset a few days, I swear to God, I miss it so much! I wouldn't mind having sever criticism all the time if you were back for an hour!! I would pay dearly for it I swear!
Writing to you helped me a lot but there are two things I am really suffering from. Since the day you left, I haven't been able to sit on your favorite chair in the living room when you used to watch the telly. I have not been able to say your name or talk about your memories in front of any family member! Even when they mention you and ask God to have mercy on you, I can't say amen to that !! My tongue feels so heavy whenever I try to!
I would kill myself if I ever forgotten you!!
I love you

Tuesday, 1 September 2009


I am saying this again and again and again!

I am sorry my dear blog and I am sorry my dearest readers for being such a bad-ass-blogger lol !

I swear I can hardly find some me time!

Since we flew our dear maid that I hate so much away, I have been working my ass off doing chores at home! I am a princess! I am never used to wiping, cleaning, washing dishes and cooking!

It used to be 2 chores a day but now in Ramadan, it's all messed up! A big house with no maid is the biggest disaster ever!!

4 months ago, our maid got sick, really sick! Her face was so big and her body was yellow and pale. We thought it was just an alergy so, we let her rest and sleep all day long while my sisters and I serve her. We cooked food for her, cleaned the house instead of her as well. She got worse so we took her to the hospital. They suspected her disease so they decided to put her in an isolated room fearing the disease to be contagious.

I was really worried on her and accompanied her in the hospital and made sure she is O.K. Even during the visiting time, I used to visit her with my sisters and bring her food and new clothes. I asked every visitor to wear a mask and cover their faces with the shaila because I was worried on her being hurt.

2 days after, the result came. She was O.K, nothing serious but there she had an infected lungs. The Doctor said that she wouldn't be able to work, use cleaning stuff and she should rest!!

Since we respect maids privacy, we don't search their luggages and rooms except when they arrive and when they departure. I went to clean her room and change the bed sheets and I was shocked! REAAAALLY shcoked!

I saw wonders!! Her bed was satined with blood and urine! Their was two big pots inside each other with dirty water inside them. There were 2 cups on top of each other, one with a peeled orange and the other with a rotten orange! There were some pads, stained ofcoruse! My siserts brand new T-shirts were found there. My missing Chanel watch was under the bed! Not to forget the big amount of money and jewlery! Even my neices rubber bands and hair clips were there!

Many many missing stuff were there that almost belonged to every member of the family. We asked a shaikh about some of the stuff we found there and he asked us to either burn them or toss them away in the ocean saying that these are pre-magic things. Her said we should be thankful that she got hospitalized so that her ugly truth got revealed!!

My mom was in denial!! She was like any one of us! She used to have her share of lunch that I wasn't even counted for when I was at work! My mom buys her every single thing she asks for and never takes money from her salary like what some families do!

The moment her treatment was over after spending 10 days at the hospital, her flight was out waiting for her. I went to her and told her that the doctor said we should get rid of everything she has and we did! We bought her new clothes, new bags and even asked her if she wanted to buy anything because we were afraid that she might have the intention of doing something more. Before she left the hospital, I told her that the doctor said she got her disease because she was filthy and that if she doesn't take care of her hygiene, cockroaches will come out of her skin!

So, yes we have been maid-less for 5 months now with never ending home chores!

On another note, we discovered that our neighbors, those who just have a wall seperating them from us were down with swine flu!!! You know how Saudis were lately in the streets with their masks on. We saw them entering and leaving with masks on and we were like, oh like everybody!!

But when we heard the news, we were really shocked!! They were having their daughter's wedding when a relative of them came from another country with the disease! 2 of the bride's youngest brothers got sick, 2 elderly women as well! They were all healed like a month ago but why didn't they inform us so that we become more cautious!!

On a third note, I got many birthday gifts :) :)

A blackberry

A fancy bag

A sexy shoes

3 perfumes

A funky T-Shirt

A wonderful set of candles craved with my name

A sweet necklace

And I know that more are yet to come :P

Thursday, 27 August 2009

Happpppppppppppy birthdaaaaaaaaaaaaay to meeeee

In exactly an hour, I am turning 27 :)
My blog completes its 1st anniversary this month starting from the old one at www.hissweetheart.wordpress.com and ending with this one. I will be uploading my old
blog's posts into this one when my friend who promised me to do it comes back from the
P.S. My sweetest bloggers, THANK you for making this blog what is it. THANK you for drawing a big smile in my face whenever I read your comments and receive your emails.
Wish me lots of love and luck please :)

Tuesday, 25 August 2009

Garbage Trucks!

I received this story from a sweet friend of mine and thought of sharing it with you :)
One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!'
This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck'.He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!
Have a blessed, garbage-free day!

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

Congrats to the bride! Congrats to the groom!

I have neglected my blog recently and negelcted reading my favorite readers' posts and I am really sorry! The reason is that my brother got engaged :)
He is the 1st brother to get engaged in our family so things have been hectic! The party was in Tuesday and till now my legs hurt since I was the camera woman plus on heels lol
P.S. The bride's maids in the photograph above are my neices. The youngest is my pumpkin neice Peacho who has been living with me for the past two months. Hence, she has started calling me mama! So, that's a nother reason why I am away! I am a mom :P
It's the 1st happy thing we have done since my dad and uncle died. I missed them both the most especially when my brother came in but for the 1st time in 4 years, I was happy :)

Saturday, 8 August 2009

Sunday, 2 August 2009

Learning the Arabic language

Controversial reactions varying from welcoming to disapproving were aroused in the kingdom of Saudia Arabia recently. That was the result of what a group of British male students who expressed their desire of traveling to Saudi Arabia to study the Arabic language.

As known, Saudi students when sent for scholarships abroad and in UK specifically, live with British families who consider them part of the family. Being with them helps in getting the language faster especially with everyday talk.

The British students "William, Maria, Jack, and Robinson" expressed their wish of being accepted by Saudi families in the summer to live with and hence learn the language through a letter that was distributed in facebook.

They reassured the saudi citizens that they are fully aware of their traditions and cultural differences. Robinsion expressed his sincere desire in learning the Khaleeji accent as he calls it for most of the British people who speak Arabic use either Egyptian or Syrian dialects.

Some Saudi guys loved the idea as it might transfer the image of Saudis being good at heart not as what some foreigners think of especially after 9/11 crisis which is still affecting some of the Saudi students who are studying abraod.

Some Saudis were harsh in their reactions that British living inside conservative Saudi families is a sin especially with the religion differences and the taboos of the Saudis.

In my own humble opinion, having students like these would be a great thing for both countries. It will wipe out the Saudi-Terror-Image and strengthen the bonds of both countries.

The question is of what type of families to live with??!It is a bit difficult especialy with Saudi Arabia being known as the 1st and the most strict country in its traditions, segregation, and male dominant society which is a big hinder. However, those students can be hosted by some families who are quite open to such things and I guess those would exist in compunds that are being mingled with foriegners and Saudis. Having these two big diversities together let each part stoop to conquer which at the end resulted in mutual understanding and harmony between each other.

Thursday, 23 July 2009

Don't copy if you can't paste!

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience.
He Said : "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"

The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"

Laughter and applause were heard.

A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink. He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"

The wife went; "ah!" with shock and rage. Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "....and I can't remember who she was!"

By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water

Moral of the story:

Don't copy if you can't paste!

Thursday, 16 July 2009

To you and only to you!

Dear Dad,
You can't imagine how much I miss you. It's more than anybody missed anyone before on the earth of humanity!!
Today I heard this sentence while watching a show that is supposed to be a pure entertainment when this girl was talking about her dad. She just said "He just passed away" and it made me cry my eyes out!! I was hurt! I was really devastated!
I had this strong flashback of the day you left!! It wasn't even 10 minutes! I thought that it's your diabetese being high and I ran and brought you some sugar thinking that it would ease the pain! I never thought that it was a heartattack!! A heart attack that took your soul away!!
I can't believe that it's the fourth year already! It's always like yesterday!!
You remember how you used to wake me up in the weekends early in the morning and take me to have breakfast with you outdoors! I can never forget that juice you used to order for me saying it will keep me smart as I always am! Trust me, I tried more than once to drink it after you left but I just couldn't!!
I clearly remember the day before you left when mom and I had an argument and I went crying in my room and didn't have lunch then. I remember how you knocked your special knock on my door and sat beside me on my bed! I can never forget your fingers touch on my chin telling me that such a baby face should never cry at all and that my tears are diamonds!
I remember the baths I used to give you since you always said you can't reach your back!
I knew you could and that you just wanted to be spoiled and I gladly did it!!
I remember the birth mark right at the end of your back neck and how I used to comment on it!
I remember how you used to make fun of me telling me that the barber had done that to you because you were the naughtiest 8 years old boy!
So many memorable days dad. So many sweet chats full of love and tenderness that I would never forget even in my grave!
I will always miss you my sweetheart
Yours forever

Wednesday, 15 July 2009


To whoever he/she who smokes out there,
Have you looked thorougly at these pictures?!

Ever thought of those you love! How would they react when they hear the news of your D.E.A.T.H !
Would their lives stay the same! Would it be a big S.T.O.P point in their lives! The lives that you destroyed by your own H.A.N.D.S!
No, don't tell me you were unconscious! You were fully A.W.A.R.E of what you were doing! Don't tell me it helped you R.E.L.A.X because I will answer saying B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T!

If you don't C.A.R.E about your life, hell with you! Just be considerate and think of those who L.O.V.E you!


Saturday, 11 July 2009

Make my dream come true!

I have applied to a job a month ago. The job is awesome and everything about it is just terrfic! It's my dream job! The job I have been dreaming to get since I was a baby girl.

I talk, sit, eat, and drink with my family and friends but they all know that my mind is just not present!

The interview timing hasn't been set yet and this is what worries me because sometimes they hire people who know someone who knows someone and that someone knows someone! My C.V got accepted and I heard a lot of nice talk about it but I am just scared.

It has been 3 months since I quit my job. I am not regretting it but I am never used to staying at home. I have started working before graduation so this unemployment stage is totally new to me. It's really draining especially when my mom sees the world through my eyes! She has lots of hopes in me and I don't wanna disappoint her!!

I am an optimistic girl full oh hopes and future plans and I would never give up but sometimes desperation crawls into me and let me drown in a sea of tears! It just makes me have doubts and lots of doubts, not in me and my abilities but in this world!

I hope the interview timing is announced soon so that I can relax a bit!!

P.S. Getting this job would make me the happiest girl on earth!! I need luck and I need never ending prayers!

Tuesday, 7 July 2009

What's next Saudi Arabia!!

My 7 years old and 3 years old neices haven't gone to any fairs since their mom delivered their new baby girl. They were getting bored staying home all the time so, I offered to take them to a fair to play. My 15 years old sister accompanied us.

We had dinner and then headed to buy the tickets. I left the choice to my neices to choose whatever games they want to play with. I was going to hand the Indian guy who is resposible about the game they chose the tickets when he started murmuring and pantomiming.

I couldn't figure out what he was talking about. Later, I understood that my 15 years old sister is not allowed to ride the rollercoster because she is "old". I was getting angry because my sister got shocked and was almost crying! He told me that it's the order of "Muttawa" aka "The Committee for the Propagation of Virtue and Prevention of Vice". He was drawing a beard with his hand to explain it clearly to me that the umttawa has come and told him and some of his colleagues that if any females are seen riding the hollercoster or whatever game it is, they will shut down the business and cause their unemployment!

He was pointing with his finger that the muttawa is somehwere there observing. I stood there for 30 minutes waiting to have a talk with him but he never showed up!! I was going to cause a scene and I didn't care about whatever might happen there!

My sister is just a kid! Whoever female who wants to ride whatever has the ultimate right to do so!! I haven't read about any rules or regulations prohibiting it!! Just thinking about it is stupid because it is merely stupid!!

What's next Saudi Arabia!

P.S. Hope you will like my new background. A sweet blogger emailed me telling me that I am enveloped in blackness. To prove him wrong, here you go :D

Saturday, 4 July 2009

If I were a bird..

The loving bird was flying happily with his beloved wife when she was shot. He went down after her and that's when he noticed that she was deeply injured.

He brought her food and came down again to her fluttering his wings with love and passion.

That's when he noticed that she has deceased! He was in shock! He tried his best to wake her up but no avail ...

He cried his lungs out and shouted in pain! He couldn't believe that the love of his life took her soul away with her!

He cried over and over and lamented her loss

Until he realised that she will never respond to his cries! Hence, he stood by her body saying goodbye in pain.

P.S. We always wish to be birds so that we can soar away from whatever causes us pain not knowing that even the birds have painful memories that even flying would never cease !

P.P.S. The pictures were taken by a French photographer and were posted in a French newspaper which was sold out in one day!

Wednesday, 1 July 2009

Dare you not to laugh :P

It made me crack up :D

Loved it!

Sunday, 28 June 2009


I am so happy I am still working out though it's not daily as before. But at least, I am a survivor doing it in such killing hot weather :P
The list of the people whom I see everyday is decreasing but there is this new weirdo that I have been seeing the last 4 weeks.
1st of all he is stupid. 2ndly he is stupid. 3rdly he is stupid!! I don't know from where to start even because whenever I want to describe him I see the word stupid written in bold in front of me!
Literally, this guy appears to be in love with me. Everyday he wears a different training suit to show off in front of me. He doesn't leave his car until he sees me going in the park which used to freak me out but not anymore. He showers in 3-4 different perfumes just to seduce me with his killing smell whenever he passes by me. I spend an hour and a half walking and still I could smell him from miles!
He keeps on giving me these "I love you looks" with a big smile on his face! He sits on the bench when I go to buy water just to observe me closely. Once he was on the phone which I know was a lie and when I passed he started saying his cell phone number thinking that I will go bonkers and take it down!! I put my music on the highest volume then and ignored him!
It's only this guy, there are others but this one doesn't give up at all!! To put an end for his stupidity, I started to take my 6 years old neice with me. She loves me the most and moreover enjoys my company. She is very serious about the working out that she prefers it over the swings over there. Bringing her with me made the guys think that I am married lol. So, that was chilling things down. But this guy never gives up!!
One day I was on the phone with one of my best friends and that's when I noticed that he was behind me listening to my phone call all the time. By the way, the phone call lasted 30 minutes and it was about her bf and I was playing the role of Dr.Love as she always calls me. How did I know that you're wondering?! Well, one of the guys passed by me and started addressing the stupid guy saying "Are you O.K?, you have been walking slowly for two rounds now". That was a hint to me so I turned around and gave him the angry cat look! I really wanted to scratch his face with my nails!
I stopped walking for a week because of the visitors who come home for my sister and her baby girl. Yesterday I went there and guess what!! He entered the park just when he saw me!!! He gave me one of his widest smiles which really made me disgusted. I put my earphones on and started walking. After 3 rounds, he was on the bench waiting for my majesty to come. I was walking and giving my neice a science class about light and shadow and she was all excited. That's when the idiot pointed at me saying "Why do you bring her everyday?!, she gets tired and she is too young."! I looked at my neice who was smiling and continued walking!
I know that was one of his ways trying to hit on me or something which merely added to his stupidity!!
Ididot, it has been a month!! Didn't you get the idea that I am not interested in you!! Didn't you understand that I would never fall for a stupid guy like you! I hate your guts! I hate your smell! And I hate your stupid sunglasses!!
P.S. Please die! :P

Thursday, 25 June 2009

Utterly unbelievable!

Nothing is sweeter than knowing that there is a person, an unexpected person who pops in without any notice in your life and makes you smile all day long!! This person comes in a time when you feel utter depression or stess. With the magic stick she/he is holding everything changes around you, everything becomes colorful and sweet.

What's surprising is that you know this person for a day or two only but it's like you have known him/her for ages. You feel yourself when you talk to, laugh at and cut jokes with! No barriers whatsoever!
Ever had this feeling before ?
P.S. Thank you for being there. You might not know how cheerful you made me but I am glad I got to know you. And No, it's never the last stop :)

Tuesday, 23 June 2009


I am choclate freak I admit but
this thing was a big put down for me :(

Choclate+marshmallows+cheese+oven= pizza= EWENESS!

I am Italian food lover, why did you do this to me :(?

Friday, 19 June 2009


Just born today so yeah, she is one day old only lol. We named her Joory. And YEAH she is the most gorgeous Joory ever :)

Monday, 15 June 2009

Pluck you lol

The History of the Middle Finger
Well, now......here' s something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to tell you all about it since it's something totally new for me, never thought it would be this way! Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?
Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future.
This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as 'plucking the yew' (or 'pluck yew'). Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as 'giving the bird.'
IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY! And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing.
P.S. Pluck you made me crack up in a time I was really depressed in :D

Sunday, 14 June 2009

Tears in Heaven


This song always puts me into tears! Click on the link above

P.S. I know my question might be silly but anybody knows the way can I show videos other than posting the link?!

Monday, 8 June 2009

I salute you!

One of the becoming popular scenes in The Eastern Province-Saudi Arabia, specifically in the Green Belt Neighborhood is the scene of ladies driving bicycles.

What encouraged those ladies is the fact that bicycles are safe and cheap means of transportation which never opposes to the laws and regulations of Saudi Arabia.

Those ladies use it to go from one place to another inside the neighborhood itself which includes sometimes going to their work.

One of the bikes drivers stated that she started to save between 300-800 SR and that she no longer stays late for hours waiting for her husband to pick her up.

"I have never seen a Saudi girl using bicycles but I am sure they will soon especially inside neighborhoods and while going to school" another lady stated.

All what I can say is "I salute you ladies"!! I have always wanted to learn riding bikes but it seems I will finally do it :)

Tuesday, 2 June 2009


*Why do we watch elderly people standing and don't offer them a seat!?
*Why do drivers throw their dirt through their windows directly in the street instead of the trash cans?!
*Why do guys smoke in closed places?! Why do they smoke from the start!?
*Why is it a must to hear tiny kids saying the dirtiest words ever!?
*Why being called a "Dog" is a bad adjective?!
*Why is Nokia Tune the ringing tone used by 90% of the people!?
*Why do Saudis enjoy looking at boobs so much?!
*Why do people wage shops in sale like they haven't gotten any clothes before?!
*Why is it O.K for some mothers to change diapers for their child while everybody is watching?!
*Why is it that so many gifted people are hard to recognize or adobt in this country and they are only appreciated when they travel abroad and show their talents?!
*Why is it that a huge percentage of people who work for the government do nothing and earn everything!?
*Why is it that early elementary schools in Saudi Arabia are full of elderly teachers who can barely walk, talk and are always absent!? Why not replace with the young ladies staying at home lamenting their bad luck!?
*Why do people enjoy wearing sunglasses at night or inside the malls?
*Why do we suffer because of the economical crisis?! Why not solve it instead of making us live in agony!
Many many many whys in head! No answers I guess!!
Is it me or them or it!?!

Friday, 29 May 2009

El Oreanato

I have been downloading movies like a freak recently! Afew were so so, most were rabbish but this one mesmerized me!
You know that I don't like anyone to spoil a movie's story to me and neither I like doing that to people lol
So, looking for horror and suspense, this is your movie!
Oh, did I mention that it's a Spanish movie? I did now :D
Watch it my dear bloggers. Eshd3wa, you're still behind I know but you gotta shake it a bit lol

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

Till when Saudi Arabia!!

I was heading to Chillies yesterday to meet my best friend when I saw the huge clouds of smoke climbing the sky. I kept on following it until I saw the flames of fire and could locate the place as a chemical store near by. It was horrible!
Since it was near the rail-way station, we had to stop once in a while. During one of our stops I saw the fire fighters trucks heading to the other way. I was like WHAT!! Can't they see that the fire is in the left when they're going to the right!!
My driver was like "This fire started since the early afternoon, the aid just came and when they reached the fire, they discovered that their trunks were out of water so they went to the ocean in the other side to fill them with water"!!
How on earth could fire fighters come all the way to the fire location when there is no water in their trunks!! Is that what they call safety?!
P.S. I knew that they will write about it in the news paper today saying that no damages happened. All is OK and the fire was extiniguished in no time! I saw it in the newspaper but didn't have the heart to read rabbish!!
For God's sake Saudi Arabia! Wake up!!

Thursday, 21 May 2009


TAG: Eights Meme

Asoom from The Diary Squel has tagged me. So, here I am doing whatever this tag asks me to do :D. Assom, emwah

8 Things I'm looking foward to

Getting my dream job! hope the waiting won't be any longer

Meeting my friends in Monday.

Becoming an aunt for the 9th time "mashalla".

Spending an entire day with T my sweetest sweet.

Attending A's engagement :D

Pursue my higher education if I got the chance.

Making my eyebrows thicker this time :D. They are already thick but I wanna more lol

. Reaching the perfect weight soon :)

8 Things I Wish I Could Do

Open a new female department for the girls at KFUPM. If only I studied there, I would have changed Saudi :D

Sponsor an orphan.

Get a visa card with a never ending account :D

Oh, driving! Not that I would kill to driver but I am sure I will be way better than those hasty drivers out there!

. Read minds.

Speak 5 languages.

Travel a lone or with a friend

Lead the life I want.

8 Things I love

Choclate Ice Cream

My friends.

Pina Colada.




Set Coms

Chciken BBQ Fillet

8 Things I Did Yesterday

Went to Applebee's to celebrate my neice's graduation from KG who slept when the dinner was served. So, there was no party

Had an argument with my best friend and hated myself for it SO MUCH!

Did some cleaning

Oh, dried my hair! Has been ages since I did it since my hair is soft lol

Went to the park with my nephew who got tired in the 2nd round!

Watched a movie which turned to be gay movie :S

Watched British Got Talent and LOVED Aiden the dancer and that little girl who sang for Alicia Keys

Took some photos :D

8 Shows I Watch


Gossip Girl

Samantha Who

Lie To me


Shameless>> started but stopped

7 will be Fringe since it's waiting in my hard desk

8 will be Entourage since it's waiting too lol

8 bloggers I tag

Desert Rose

Gone Bonkers

Zee Zee


Stand Alone




Friday, 15 May 2009

Is sexually abused! p3

Though it was hard for her to remember but she wanted to remember it! She was becoming a bride and the stories of girls not being virgins and the revenge of their grooms, the utter sadness and shame of their families, and the scandlous life she was going to lead scared her the most!! She did nothing wrong! She was just a victim and moreover a baby!! What was devastating was that she didn't remember if anything more the touching was happening! It was like her memory got frozen for certain reasons! The story of girls being killed in their wedding days because of their virginity being lost! What if people thought that she lost it on her own will because she was flirty?! What if that caused a big scandal to her family!!?

A year later, she got sick and had to visit the doctor frequently. She was havin problems with her PMS. She had to do to this check up to make sure everything is alright but she was hesitant to be exposed. That was when the doctor told her "don't worry, I am not gonna touch your virginity layer, I can see it clearly so no worries"!! She cried and cried and cried! She later understood that it wasn't a dream! It was merely beautiful reality!

She heard the news and was in utter shock! He got engaged and he was getting married!! She saw the girl and felt a strange sense pity mixed with disgust for her! He was an animal!! How can he be a father for God's sake when he himself betrays childhood and an innocent soul!! She had more than once thought of calling her and telling her all the story! She just couldn't! "That would make a scandal" she thought. It would ruin the relationship between her father and uncle which she would never agree on! If the son is an animal in the shape of a human being, the uncle has nothing to do with it!!

The wedding date was soon! She felt disgusted everytime someone mentioned his name or talked about his marriage preparations! The invitaions came and her sisters were excited to attend thier eldest cousin's fancy wedding.

She didn't wanna go. Her sisters pushed and pushed but she was still against it. Her dad asked her to go and she obeyed hesitantly. She couldn't deny an order from him at all.

She went and saw the bride all dressed up with a fancy dress full of crystals and feathers. She was just staring, not hearing, not seeing anything! All what was in her mind was he naked before her asking her to touch his penis...!

"The groom is coming to the hall", they announced!

She couldn't move her legs! She was stoned! Seeing him would be the 1st time in how many years?! 12 or 13 years! She wished the earth could swallow her and not to see him holding hands with his bride who had been blinded by him!

She saw his ugly face! He was handsome as everybody said but to her he was a monster and a very distorted image of the devil in a human form!

She did nothing! She just raised her hands and prayed! She prayed to God from the bottom of her broken heart! She asked God never to give him kids ever!!

It has been 7 years since he got married now and till now he doesn't have a single child. Though the doctors say that everything is OK!! She thanked God everytime she heard his family praying for him to have kids! No, No, No, she is not cruel or cold blooded! Her wound would never be healed! Not having kids is a bless from God! She is sure that he knows the reason behind it!!

P.S. That wasn't any thing but reality. Actually it is my real story and the childhood I lived I guess. Surprisingly enough, A and I became close friends not knowing that both of our childhoods were betrayed by our so called relatives. A's victimizer whom you can call her brother "sorry I don't call that a brother" has been married for 6 years now and is also with no kids. "A" asked from the God the same thing I asked for!!

It's a history for both of us now but it still aches. I was hesitant to mention the fact that it's my story but so what!! I have been a victim!! I have never talked about this to any of my family members, even my best friends knew it about it only a few years ago.

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Working Out

To kill time and most importantly to lose some weight, I have started to walk for an hour everyday at a park near my house.

The 1st day was killing because my foot got wounded because I was wearing a half shoe lol

The 2nd day was tiring because I wore my sister's shoe which is 1 size smaller than mine so you can imagine my swollen tiny toes lol

The 3rd was good because I finally bought a good shoe, Nike of course and it's awesome :D

In the 4th day, I started to get bored while walking. When I reached home I was like "Why don't you take your Ipod stupid" lol. I literally forgot it because it has been ditched :D

The 5th day was yesterday which was marvelous :D. Well, walking with Craig David singing in your ear is the best!! Tell me why?!

1st of all I don't get to hear those stupid guys commenting or staring at my boobs and murmuring!

2ndly, time passes quickly with music shuffling you know!

I pass by different types of guys especially the weird type. There are those guys I wait to see everyday so that I can laugh :D

One is the guy walking with his thobe and shmag! He makes me laugh because he wants to excercise but at the same time maintain being elegant lol>>>typical Saudi

Another is the old guy who keeps in showing off when I pass by him.

Another one is the guy who keeps on avoiding looking at my face as if I am that great deal of seduction lol! I wish I can take a picture of his face and show you that expression lool

Another is the guy who also wears thobe and shmag but has this marching walk I have never seen in my life! He marches in a way that makes me feel he is running to hug me especially with that big smile on his face hehe! I swear I can see him now lol

The last guy is this VERY handsome fellow with mesmerizing eyes! Awww. Just seeing him run with his hair dancing with the air is enough for me!

We always meet at the beginning and ending line of every route. His outfit is stripes of black and blue. I know it resembles a team but I am not into soccer so I don't know what is it lol. So, he tries his best not to look at me but his eyes fail him when I come closer lol. I love that feeling. The only thing I hate about him is that he doesn't have a beard nor a mustache! I wish he can have saksoka because it would look great on him :D

Oh forgot to mention the weird group of girls who excercise with their jeans :SSSS. Not any jeans but very long ones that cleans the way for everybody else lol! I wonder if they know that such pants are not to be worn while working out!?!
P.S. I haven't been active in writing nor commenting! I really donno why! Sorry

Thursday, 7 May 2009


What do you think of it?! I really loved the style but couldn't find it! Anybody knows where can I find these?

Saturday, 2 May 2009

Is sexually abused! p2

She was only 7. She had just started going to school and those days were the happiest ever! She was a child full of enthusiasm, innocence, and optmimism.

She was very smart at school. She scored the highest scores though she used to teach herself by herself, no help from anybody at all. She was passionate about learning.

Though she was 7 but playing with kids wasn't her thing. She loved to mingle with adults because she felt that her mind is way bigger than hers. Her parents treated her like an adult too.

She loved her uncle a lot since he was the closest to her dad. She loved his kids too. S was at her age and K was a few years younger. His eldest son used to visit her house frequently. She loved him because he used to carry her a gift in every visit. He used to take her to the back of the house and push her while swinging. She loved finding herself in the sky breathing the sweet air and laughing as hard as she could. She trusted him a lot.

Since she had no kids at home with her, he became her friend. He was in 9th grade maybe. He played with her so many games. The game she will never ever forget is "Doctor and a Patient". He asked her to pretend that she is a doctor and he is a patient and asked her to make him a check up. She loved the concept and quickly agreed!

He took his clothes off one by one. She was perplexed for she has never seen such a thing. He calmed her down telling her that she will check his lower part because it hurts and so she approved. He then asked her to take off so he can explain to her the difference between the body of a girl and a boy. She was afraid but he told her that since she is a doctor she has to know the difference in the human body. She got excited because she loves learning and so obeyed him.

She started to get irritated from him after he started to touch her. She didn't know whether it was a good or a bad thing but something inside her made her fear him. She didn't know who to tell! She was afraid to get yelled at so she stopped.

He kept on coming home with more toys. Hearing his voice gave her a shiver down her spine! She kept on hiding in the bathroom until he leaves. His visits became less until he stopped it forever.

She grew up, went to college and was a very smart girl. She didn't tell a soul about it. Just remembering what happened to her for almost 2 years and a half made her cry a river! What hurt her the most was her inability to talk about it!!

P.S. This is not A's stroy but both are related because both girls are close friends. Sorry for not continuing but writing such a story is the most difficult thing ever!

To be continued

Monday, 27 April 2009

No freaking way!!

Did you see what I saw?! Jenny Humphrey, the tiny weeny girl from Gossip Girl or the metal woman LOL!?!

Thursday, 23 April 2009

Is sexually abused!

Imagine one of your best friends calling you to tell you that she is holding her best news ever!
What do you think her best news would be?!
Since I know A very well, I had many things in mind.
1. She will finally be engaged to the guy she chose not her parents.
2. She got the job she has been dreaming of.
3. Her brother came back from abroad.
4. Her weight became what she desired it to be.
5. No more back aches since her devastating fall.
So many things were roaming in my mind. I was begging her to shoot it out until she did!! I wasn't shocked when she told me about it but didn't expect that! Her best news was that she has done the Virginity Test and she turned out to be Virgin!!
I was lost for words, really speechless but then I started screaming like crazy which made my driver stop in the middle of the way because he freaked out thinking something happened to me!!
I know this option might have never occured to you and is quiet shocking but that's the turth!! A was sexually abused by two of her male relatives when she was a child, her brother and uncle!! That happened repeatedly from her uncle more than her teenaged brother! What she rememberes vividly is her uncle asking her not to wear pants when he is around! Why!! I leave it for you to do the imagination concerning a 8 years old girl with a 25 years old man who is supposingly an uncle to her!!
P.S. Part 2 is coming soon when I feel like writing about it because I really wanna do it!

Sunday, 19 April 2009

In Love

I don't recall falling for actors or singers except Bryan Adams but this guy is jaw dropping!
Michael Cassidy, will you marry me lol?

Thursday, 16 April 2009

That's none of your business!!

I really hate it when my family members go blabbing behind my back that I lost my job by myself and that I might not get a job due to the financial crisis we live in !!
They all know that I am crazy about work. I even started working before I graduated from college! I have always volunteered to work for unpaid extra hours and weekends just because I am a hard working girl!
Am I supposed to gather them up and tell them that I left because I was living under the leadership of a manager who thinks with his penis!! How can a girl say that to her family!?
And my sister, if you know that I get upset when you tell me about all these stuff happening behind my back, PLEASE stop!! I can't tell you when you're 8 years older than me and is the most sensitive girl on earth to stop telling me about all the she said and he said stuff! It's my life and my career.
Please understand that I have my own reasons for quitting! I didn't ask for anybody's opinion when I decided to quit so please understand that such things don't matter to me!! I lead my life by myelf! Just leave me a lone please!