Wednesday, 23 September 2009

My mind is lost...

I can't say I am sorry again for not updating my blog because you got bored with the sam excuse I know! I am not here to be called a "grouch" as a friend called me once when I was trying to vent!

No one seems to understand or believe because they haven't been through it before! They haven't lived the pain I lived!!

I can never forget the day when I came back from college and saw hundreds of women going inside our house in the early afternoon! It never came to my mind that I lost my nephew! I was devastated! My sister, the closest to my heart was going mad!! "You haven't seen him" she said while crying loudly!! I swear I can still see her in her prayer mat weeping! I don't want that to happen ever again!
He died over physical disability and the reason was that his mom is married to my cousin. Marrying relatives in our family causes physical disabilities to their babies. It was something no one paid attention to 12 years ago. It wasn't only my nephew, we lost many children in the family.
Ramadan came and finished and so did Eid, and we haven't felt either! Memories of dad and my uncle overwhelmed. What made it worse is my 4 months old Joory. She is the prettiest girl ever. She is my deceased nephew's sister and now symptoms of the same disease have been shown on her. Everything in her reminds us of him. She is too tiny, she hasn't grown much since she was born and she is a bit late in movement for kids at her age!
I donno what to say! I just wish that it's just hallucinations! Her mom crying and weeping is just because she is worried nothing more! I am really praying to God to stengthen her and keep her safe us!!
Please God, I can't bear any more death in the family! Please!


sara said...

salam his-sweetheart

if this may comfort you, Allah SWT taking them has a beauty in it. we don't know, only Allah Knows the intricacies of destiny.

i personally looks at death as the rest after striving in this present life. good people will live happy in the next life. hope they rests in peace & happiness.

one day our time will come too. early or not, the next life is reality. this life is transition. maybe you'll meet your dad again - only Allah SWT knows best! i seek refuge from Allah from errors.

hope Allah SWT give you comfort.

Euphoria said...

Allah ye9abberkom jamee3an.

Anonymous said...

may god bless her soul... it is so touching what you wrote :(

we have this issue of close relatives marriage in my family... my sister is married to our cousin... but thanks god her two babies are healthy... but its very scary and I will never marry a first degree cousin from the family.

I hope people understand the consequences

Another-Penelope said...

I feel sad about it, i duno what to say:( but all i could share that in some Christianity it is forbidden marrying from relatives to relatives because of that.

Abi-Omi-Abi-Oboy said...

Akhaaiiih alla yr7emaa we9aberkom enshallah :(..

But hes in amuch much better place now..

allah e3eeenkom enshallah ;(

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your deceased nephew :( Agreed with Naseem, people should realized the consequences :(


Suzy said...

Someone who leaves messages on my blog from Hawaii, her name is MJ, has lost so many family members I can't imagine how she stands upright. Prayers your way...

Lili3 said...

2lla y3eenkom 2nsha2llah :( don't lose hope

Puça said...

Ohhh, I'm really sorry for that!

We have forbidden marriages among close family members due to possible genetic problems.

Hundreds of years ago royal families married among themselves, endogamy, and that lead them to a lot of diseases not seen maybe in the first generation but in the second or third, recessive gens. They did not know at that time what the reason was, so they used to blame it to bad spirits.

But once science has evolved and realized where the problem comes from, our laws forbids us to marry within close family members.

I guess is very difficult to change that as seems to be traditional in your country, it was in ours to but had to change as only mixing grants survival.

I really hope your niece does not have it. Shall pray for her.

Mone said...

sorry to read that,

alah yer7amhom ya rab o ye9abrkom inshalah..

Standy said...

ina lillahi o ina elaihi raje3oon..
a7san allah 3azakum..

i am so sorry for your loss =(

Simple Gurl said...

heey ;)

enshallah allah y3awe'9hom bele a7san 3aneh ;) w god be with u and ur family !
cant Imagine this lose of a lil. pure soul !

xx, H

Simple Gurl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mina said...

Habibti hang in there, it will get better Inshallah...try and have sabr:)im here if you wanna talk

Love you loads xXx

Rimyoleta said...

Oh God,
I'm so sorry dear.
allah ye9aberkom w yerfa3 3annaha inshallah..

Hang in there champs

Karamilah said...

allah yer7amhom ya rab w ye9abrkom inshallah
very touching, hang on there, i hope everything is going to be alright

mais said...

Sorry for your loss ,,may her soul rest in peace

Anonymous said...

Narrated Abu Huraira
Allah's Messenger said, "Allah says, 'I have nothing to give but Paradise as a reward to my believer slave, who, if I cause his dear friend (or relative) to die, remains patient (and hopes for Allah's Reward)."[Sahih Bukhari 8.76.432]

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to hear that...may God be with your family always.
...but that's why you don't marry your cousins.

ĄηğэĻĭšTїÇ said...

Alla y9aberkom .. am sorry for ur losses ... said...

This is incredibly tough! I associated with you immediately, not because I had a previous experience, but because it really is a painful story.
After prayer to Allah, counseling is the second best thing you can do!
After reading your post, I automatically knew that you need to vent out and seek help from people who can not only empathize with you but sympathize and help you get through this. A psychologist will do nothing but that and even more.
I am glad that you wrote because you need support. I hope that Allah brings nothing but happiness into your life. You, your sister and family are in my prayers.

eshda3wa said...

allah y3eenkom oo ygawe egloobkom!

inshlaha mako ela kel khair ya rab

Hope said...

Oh sweetie *hugs*
May Allah B with u
mafeeha ella el.3afyah InShallah

Anonymous said...

Allah yer7emhm..

Anonymous said...

Sister I am so sorry for you and your famalies lost.may allah give you all ease to your sorrow! I fear this extremely as I am married to my fathers nephew/ my cousin. I've never been more in love and I want to spend the rest of my life with him insha'allah. But I am scared to have children. Allah Ta' Ala.

A said...

Allah y9brkm o y3eenkm nshallah..

Anonymous said...

Slm.PLZ WRITE AGAIN,WE MISS YOU! And to the last anonymous-leav it al in Allahs hands,my mum/dad are 1st cousin,and alhmdulilah,we are 5 healthy,normal children.infact marrying cousins is very commön in our family.

His Sweetheart said...

Thank you all :)

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Texan in UAE said...

:(( this broke my heart. subhana'Allah

ina lillahi o ina elaihi raje3oon

I'm so sad for your family and your sister! :( INsha'a'Allah in jannah you will see him, habibti. I lost a son too. IT's hard. nothing like it in the world. Very hard and very sad.