Monday, 23 February 2009

Smiling again

I apologize for being away, inactive, and kind of withdrawn. I have been haunted with the idea of the possibility of losing another dear relative of mine.

I still mention my uncle's name and talk about him using the present tense. I even go to open the door for him whenever we make a BBQ since it's his favorite. Afew days ago, I was searching for a phone number in my contact list when I found his number. I didn't know what to do, was I supposed to erase it or what?!. The idea of calling him occurred to me also and was one tick away from doing it. I didn't..

I was talking to my friend today when I told her that my uncle is coming to pick me up when she gave me a startled look. I was shaking and almost collapsed in my place when I noticed what I was saying.

I was going to leave work an hour earlier because my sisters and I prepared lunch and sweets and decided to have lunch at my uncle's. My driver called saying that his cousin fell dead infront of him and that the police are investigating the incident now.

I really didn't know what to do, I can't bear death news and recently all what I hear is people dying or people sick of cancer!

Before I left work, I heard news that kind of cheered me up. Part of what I was praying for came true after long months of bloody fights and suffering, work wise ofcourse. I am not that optimistic about it though. I don't wanna build some dreams that might fall a part before me.

However, I am kind of smiling again.

23 comments:

The Extravagate said...

One of my previous posts was about this exact topic and everyone around me thought I was exaggerating I donno if its appropriate to say ita a gd thing I find someone who can relate to what am going throu bs enshalla no more for both of us

Naseem said...

I hope you will never loose any beloved person again in your life...

I just want to mention that your writing skills are just amazing... you nicely plot what you wish to say in words... keep it up

and hey... keep smiling :)

His Sweetheart said...

Extravagate
Inshalla ya rab.

I can feel what you're talkingabout because I lost my dad and uncle, the dearest people to my heart. People might think I am extaggerating too but trust me, those who weren't in our shoes, would never ever imagine what we are in!

His Sweetheart said...

Naseem
You drew a big smile on my face with your sweet compliment.

Thanks a lot ;)

Zara said...

Sweetie, Inshallah you will feel better =) Don't remember the sad part about losing your dear ones but remember all the good memories they shares with you and never forget to trasure all your love ones who still alive and stand by your side. Love you sweetie =)

His Sweetheart said...

Zara
Thank you babes ;)

E-Arab said...

Hope that you will always smile. Work wise I am sure you are in a better condition than me, because of the global markets problem, no promotions or increases for us this year, we just heard the news:(.

MeeMzZ said...

life is too short SMILE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN!!:p

Bliss said...

i'm so sorry for your uncle's loss :'(
allah yer7amo o y'3ferlo

riachuelo said...

You are a very gifted and sweet person and it shows that you care soooo much about your family. They are so lucky to have your cares and kindness, and I'm sure they would want you to feel happy and confident about the wonderful person that you are

libero anima said...

awh 7abeebty .. i don't know what to say ..
everyone dies .. and i know its hard for u .. im not going to say i know how u feel .. cuz i don't ..
but i hope everything turns out well for u ..
always always smile even though u don't have anything to smile about ..

Errant said...

oh sweet thing .. *hug*

It's always hard at the beginning . i'm not saying that you'll forget about later .. but it's u'll get used to it ..

I dunno wat to say .. but this is life .. it's not perfect .. u can't have everything right .. and everyone has his troubles .. and difficulties .. the most important thing is that u smile .. u must have such a pretty, honey-sweet smile .. don't ever lose it .. :)

hijabee said...

InshaAllah, I pray that you feel better hun. Losing a loved one is very traumatic experience and sometimes we never get over it! May Allah protect our loved ones.

Faisal F. said...

Their memory lives on in you and everyone who's heart they've touched. Being remembered and cherished, is what gives a soul peace; and this alone is the true achievemebt they've earned from this life. God bless them all and reward them. Ameen.

Neoark said...

allah yer7amah oo ye`3md ro7ah el janah

His Sweetheart said...

E-Arab
Trust my word, your work will never be like mine and I haven't gotten any merital increase yet though I completed 3 years there. I wish it's the money issue but not the corruption.

His Sweetheart said...

Meemz
Ameen

Bliss
Thanks sweetheart

His Sweetheart said...

Richie
I love you girl ;)

His Sweetheart said...

libero anima
Inshalla

Erant
*hugs* you back

hijabee
It is tormenting. Ameen to your prayers sweet thing

His Sweetheart said...

Faisal. F
Ameen

Neorak
Thanks ;)

Hind ♥ said...

Oh sweetie :(
Allah yr7amu o y'3ferlu. I know it's hard, I've been there a lot lately and I hate it and it sucks but it's inevitable. Sometimes all I hear about is death and people dying and it freaks me out because I can't take it anymore. It's just too hard.

Feel better *hugggsss* :*

Meena said...

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un

The pain fades with time and it is easier to remember the happy thoughts. It always hurts, but it becomes a softer, nostalgic ache.

Gone Bonkers. said...

i truly feel you 7abebty and its gonna take some time to mend... its hard but you will pull through enshaAllah, my advice is don't keep it in, let it out and we're all here for you..

bottling feelings up never did me any good :(

*hugs his sweetheart*