My mind is lost...

I can't say I am sorry again for not updating my blog because you got bored with the sam excuse I know! I am not here to be called a "grouch" as a friend called me once when I was trying to vent!

No one seems to understand or believe because they haven't been through it before! They haven't lived the pain I lived!!

I can never forget the day when I came back from college and saw hundreds of women going inside our house in the early afternoon! It never came to my mind that I lost my nephew! I was devastated! My sister, the closest to my heart was going mad!! "You haven't seen him" she said while crying loudly!! I swear I can still see her in her prayer mat weeping! I don't want that to happen ever again!

He died over physical disability and the reason was that his mom is married to my cousin. Marrying relatives in our family causes physical disabilities to their babies. It was something no one paid attention to 12 years ago. It wasn't only my nephew, we lost many children in the family.

Ramadan came and finished and so did Eid, and we haven't felt either! Memories of dad and my uncle overwhelmed. What made it worse is my 4 months old Joory. She is the prettiest girl ever. She is my deceased nephew's sister and now symptoms of the same disease have been shown on her. Everything in her reminds us of him. She is too tiny, she hasn't grown much since she was born and she is a bit late in movement for kids at her age!

I donno what to say! I just wish that it's just hallucinations! Her mom crying and weeping is just because she is worried nothing more! I am really praying to God to stengthen her and keep her safe us!!

Please God, I can't bear any more death in the family! Please!

It's the Fourth year daddy

Dear Dad,

Four years have passed since they day you said goodbye dad. No, you didn't say goodbye, you just left without saying a word! And I can never forget that!

I have been trying hard to go on with my life. I thought I did but I guess I was just lying on myself!

Your room is still closed! No one dares to open it because we all know, sorrow and tears will be back again!

Maybe I didn't tell you this before but the day you had your heart attack and was rushed to the E.R, your room was locked and we couldn't find the keys! My brother borke the door down when the hospital asked for your ID card. We all thought that it's just for admitting you in the hospital but none of us suspected it being taken to complete the death procedure! It has been locked ever since!

So many things have changed in our family and we are still missing you big time. I am no longer the spoiled girl you used to pamper for there would never be anyone to replace you. You were the only person I used to cry to and now I just can't do it! I am stronger and I am still the good girl you have always known!

It's Ramadan daddy. I miss preparing your tray of food, none fried of course because of your diabetese. I miss you breaking your fasting on the voice of Quraan in the living room and I miss your comments of the food or juice I made. There was some criticism that made me upset a few days, I swear to God, I miss it so much! I wouldn't mind having sever criticism all the time if you were back for an hour!! I would pay dearly for it I swear!

Writing to you helped me a lot but there are two things I am really suffering from. Since the day you left, I haven't been able to sit on your favorite chair in the living room when you used to watch the telly. I have not been able to say your name or talk about your memories in front of any family member! Even when they mention you and ask God to have mercy on you, I can't say amen to that !! My tongue feels so heavy whenever I try to!

I would kill myself if I ever forgotten you!!

I love you

Yours,

S

Randoms

I am saying this again and again and again!


I am sorry my dear blog and I am sorry my dearest readers for being such a bad-ass-blogger lol !

I swear I can hardly find some me time!


Since we flew our dear maid that I hate so much away, I have been working my ass off doing chores at home! I am a princess! I am never used to wiping, cleaning, washing dishes and cooking!

It used to be 2 chores a day but now in Ramadan, it's all messed up! A big house with no maid is the biggest disaster ever!!


4 months ago, our maid got sick, really sick! Her face was so big and her body was yellow and pale. We thought it was just an alergy so, we let her rest and sleep all day long while my sisters and I serve her. We cooked food for her, cleaned the house instead of her as well. She got worse so we took her to the hospital. They suspected her disease so they decided to put her in an isolated room fearing the disease to be contagious.


I was really worried on her and accompanied her in the hospital and made sure she is O.K. Even during the visiting time, I used to visit her with my sisters and bring her food and new clothes. I asked every visitor to wear a mask and cover their faces with the shaila because I was worried on her being hurt.


2 days after, the result came. She was O.K, nothing serious but there she had an infected lungs. The Doctor said that she wouldn't be able to work, use cleaning stuff and she should rest!!


Since we respect maids privacy, we don't search their luggages and rooms except when they arrive and when they departure. I went to clean her room and change the bed sheets and I was shocked! REAAAALLY shcoked!


I saw wonders!! Her bed was satined with blood and urine! Their was two big pots inside each other with dirty water inside them. There were 2 cups on top of each other, one with a peeled orange and the other with a rotten orange! There were some pads, stained ofcoruse! My siserts brand new T-shirts were found there. My missing Chanel watch was under the bed! Not to forget the big amount of money and jewlery! Even my neices rubber bands and hair clips were there!


Many many missing stuff were there that almost belonged to every member of the family. We asked a shaikh about some of the stuff we found there and he asked us to either burn them or toss them away in the ocean saying that these are pre-magic things. Her said we should be thankful that she got hospitalized so that her ugly truth got revealed!!


My mom was in denial!! She was like any one of us! She used to have her share of lunch that I wasn't even counted for when I was at work! My mom buys her every single thing she asks for and never takes money from her salary like what some families do!


The moment her treatment was over after spending 10 days at the hospital, her flight was out waiting for her. I went to her and told her that the doctor said we should get rid of everything she has and we did! We bought her new clothes, new bags and even asked her if she wanted to buy anything because we were afraid that she might have the intention of doing something more. Before she left the hospital, I told her that the doctor said she got her disease because she was filthy and that if she doesn't take care of her hygiene, cockroaches will come out of her skin!


So, yes we have been maid-less for 5 months now with never ending home chores!


On another note, we discovered that our neighbors, those who just have a wall seperating them from us were down with swine flu!!! You know how Saudis were lately in the streets with their masks on. We saw them entering and leaving with masks on and we were like, oh like everybody!!


But when we heard the news, we were really shocked!! They were having their daughter's wedding when a relative of them came from another country with the disease! 2 of the bride's youngest brothers got sick, 2 elderly women as well! They were all healed like a month ago but why didn't they inform us so that we become more cautious!!


On a third note, I got many birthday gifts :) :)


A blackberry

A fancy bag

A sexy shoes

3 perfumes

A funky T-Shirt

A wonderful set of candles craved with my name

A sweet necklace

And I know that more are yet to come :P

Happpppppppppppy birthdaaaaaaaaaaaaay to meeeee

In exactly an hour, I am turning 27 :)

My blog completes its 1st anniversary this month starting from the old one at www.hissweetheart.wordpress.com and ending with this one. I will be uploading my old

blog's posts into this one when my friend who promised me to do it comes back from the

vacation.

P.S. My sweetest bloggers, THANK you for making this blog what is it. THANK you for drawing a big smile in my face whenever I read your comments and receive your emails.

Wish me lots of love and luck please :)

Garbage Trucks!

I received this story from a sweet friend of mine and thought of sharing it with you :)

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!'

This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck'.He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Have a blessed, garbage-free day!

Wishing you a joyous and blessed Ramadan

May the light that we celebrate at Ramadan show us the way and lead us together on the path of peace and social harmony.

Wish you a very happy Ramadan

Congrats to the bride! Congrats to the groom!

I have neglected my blog recently and negelcted reading my favorite readers' posts and I am really sorry! The reason is that my brother got engaged :)

He is the 1st brother to get engaged in our family so things have been hectic! The party was in Tuesday and till now my legs hurt since I was the camera woman plus on heels lol

P.S. The bride's maids in the photograph above are my neices. The youngest is my pumpkin neice Peacho who has been living with me for the past two months. Hence, she has started calling me mama! So, that's a nother reason why I am away! I am a mom :P

It's the 1st happy thing we have done since my dad and uncle died. I missed them both the most especially when my brother came in but for the 1st time in 4 years, I was happy :)

Mona Lisa Made of 3,604 cups of coffee

Terrific!

Learning the Arabic language

Controversial reactions varying from welcoming to disapproving were aroused in the kingdom of Saudia Arabia recently. That was the result of what a group of British male students who expressed their desire of traveling to Saudi Arabia to study the Arabic language.

As known, Saudi students when sent for scholarships abroad and in UK specifically, live with British families who consider them part of the family. Being with them helps in getting the language faster especially with everyday talk.


The British students "William, Maria, Jack, and Robinson" expressed their wish of being accepted by Saudi families in the summer to live with and hence learn the language through a letter that was distributed in facebook.

They reassured the saudi citizens that they are fully aware of their traditions and cultural differences. Robinsion expressed his sincere desire in learning the Khaleeji accent as he calls it for most of the British people who speak Arabic use either Egyptian or Syrian dialects.

Some Saudi guys loved the idea as it might transfer the image of Saudis being good at heart not as what some foreigners think of especially after 9/11 crisis which is still affecting some of the Saudi students who are studying abraod.


Some Saudis were harsh in their reactions that British living inside conservative Saudi families is a sin especially with the religion differences and the taboos of the Saudis.


In my own humble opinion, having students like these would be a great thing for both countries. It will wipe out the Saudi-Terror-Image and strengthen the bonds of both countries.


The question is of what type of families to live with??!It is a bit difficult especialy with Saudi Arabia being known as the 1st and the most strict country in its traditions, segregation, and male dominant society which is a big hinder. However, those students can be hosted by some families who are quite open to such things and I guess those would exist in compunds that are being mingled with foriegners and Saudis. Having these two big diversities together let each part stoop to conquer which at the end resulted in mutual understanding and harmony between each other.

Don't copy if you can't paste!

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience.
He Said : "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"

The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"

Laughter and applause were heard.

A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink. He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"

The wife went; "ah!" with shock and rage. Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "....and I can't remember who she was!"

By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water

Moral of the story:

Don't copy if you can't paste!

To you and only to you!

Dear Dad,

You can't imagine how much I miss you. It's more than anybody missed anyone before on the earth of humanity!!

Today I heard this sentence while watching a show that is supposed to be a pure entertainment when this girl was talking about her dad. She just said "He just passed away" and it made me cry my eyes out!! I was hurt! I was really devastated!

I had this strong flashback of the day you left!! It wasn't even 10 minutes! I thought that it's your diabetese being high and I ran and brought you some sugar thinking that it would ease the pain! I never thought that it was a heartattack!! A heart attack that took your soul away!!

I can't believe that it's the fourth year already! It's always like yesterday!!

You remember how you used to wake me up in the weekends early in the morning and take me to have breakfast with you outdoors! I can never forget that juice you used to order for me saying it will keep me smart as I always am! Trust me, I tried more than once to drink it after you left but I just couldn't!!

I clearly remember the day before you left when mom and I had an argument and I went crying in my room and didn't have lunch then. I remember how you knocked your special knock on my door and sat beside me on my bed! I can never forget your fingers touch on my chin telling me that such a baby face should never cry at all and that my tears are diamonds!

I remember the baths I used to give you since you always said you can't reach your back!

I knew you could and that you just wanted to be spoiled and I gladly did it!!

I remember the birth mark right at the end of your back neck and how I used to comment on it!

I remember how you used to make fun of me telling me that the barber had done that to you because you were the naughtiest 8 years old boy!

So many memorable days dad. So many sweet chats full of love and tenderness that I would never forget even in my grave!

I will always miss you my sweetheart

Yours forever

S

S.T.O.P

To whoever he/she who smokes out there,

Have you looked thorougly at these pictures?!

Ever thought of those you love! How would they react when they hear the news of your D.E.A.T.H !

Would their lives stay the same! Would it be a big S.T.O.P point in their lives! The lives that you destroyed by your own H.A.N.D.S!

No, don't tell me you were unconscious! You were fully A.W.A.R.E of what you were doing! Don't tell me it helped you R.E.L.A.X because I will answer saying B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T!

If you don't C.A.R.E about your life, hell with you! Just be considerate and think of those who L.O.V.E you!

Regards,

Death

Make my dream come true!

I have applied to a job a month ago. The job is awesome and everything about it is just terrfic! It's my dream job! The job I have been dreaming to get since I was a baby girl.

I talk, sit, eat, and drink with my family and friends but they all know that my mind is just not present!

The interview timing hasn't been set yet and this is what worries me because sometimes they hire people who know someone who knows someone and that someone knows someone! My C.V got accepted and I heard a lot of nice talk about it but I am just scared.

It has been 3 months since I quit my job. I am not regretting it but I am never used to staying at home. I have started working before graduation so this unemployment stage is totally new to me. It's really draining especially when my mom sees the world through my eyes! She has lots of hopes in me and I don't wanna disappoint her!!

I am an optimistic girl full oh hopes and future plans and I would never give up but sometimes desperation crawls into me and let me drown in a sea of tears! It just makes me have doubts and lots of doubts, not in me and my abilities but in this world!

I hope the interview timing is announced soon so that I can relax a bit!!

P.S. Getting this job would make me the happiest girl on earth!! I need luck and I need never ending prayers!