Monday, 20 December 2010
Praying
Things have really been deteriorating lately...
Things are not O.K..!
I can't even be optimistic and say it will be O.K..!
I'm just scared..
I'm just hiding in my cocoon waiting..
I don't know even what to expect..
I hate going home thinking bad news are awaiting..
I hate calling at home chicking how things are going..
I hate the beebing part when I call and nobody answers and my own hallucinations start thinking of what kind of crisis is happening at home..
I'm scared.. No one understands that..
I'm scattered in my own world and no one even could tell because I am damn good in smiling.
My niece has been bedridden for 6 days, just got discharged yesterday and she is sick again..!
I'm terrified and you can't imagine how much I'm..
I am scared I'd lose her like I lost her bother, my dad, my 2 uncles, my 2 grandparents, and my grandmother..!
I'm sick of death stealing every dear one away with no permission at all.!
I'm mad at death for being so cruel..!
I'm pissed at death for choosing good people to departure..!
I'm angry at death for leaving the bad people behind wandering and doing whatever evil thing they might think of!!
I'm just sad...
Friday, 22 October 2010
Heart Accident 4
Two days after Khalid met Hind at her house while waiting for Faisal her brother, he left to the UK with his father who was diagnosed with cancer. It was shocking how he was healthy and all of a sudden found out that he is dying in 2 months.He was a lonely child as his mother had several miscarriages that ended up with pain to Khalid, his mother and dad. He resigned from his work making a stop to every single accomplishment he has done. He took his dad to the UK as he was told about one of the best hospitals to treat cancer in the whole world.
It was very hard on him to see his dad going through chemo therapy but he had to be tough, to endure the pain, to hold his dad's hand and tell him that it will be alright.
Faisal was there for him all the time though was still devastated with the sudden death of his beloved father.
As Khalid was googling some information online, he landed on a blog as the title enchanted him. It was entitled "Death took you away?!, it never did daddy". His eyes went through it as he read it all.
He wondered who was that girl behind it. He was touched because of all the pain inside her. She was shaking yet very strong. He envied her and wondered if he would have the same strength if he lost his dad. He closed his eyes in agony and wished he would die before he loses his dear father.
Four days after, he died. He left his loyal son struggling in a country he hasn't made a single friend in. He couldn't take the pain. He couldn't go back to Saudi Arabia and see all the places and faces his dad used to see. A very dark curtain covered his eyes. He sighed in despair and felt that life is useless after his dad..
P.S. Sorry for not posting this part last week. Sorry for not keeping it long enough to satisfy your hunger. I hardly wrote it. I'm waiting for an inspiration so that I continue in a high spirit :)
To Be Continued
Tuesday, 5 October 2010
Heart Accident 3
How could someone who represents everything in your life just disappear with no permission!? Why death is so cruel! "Why so sudden daddy"? was the question she has never found an answer for. She spent 3 years in ultimate denial. She couldn't even use the past tense when she thinks of him. She has never talked about him in front of anyone of her family members. He has never complained of any heart problems and all of a sudden he died of heart attack!!
A friend of hers advised her to start her own blog since she finds it her hard to talk about her deceased father. She did and the 1st post she wrote was about him. She had many condolences from strangers she has never met. It helped her a lot in taking out the loads of burden sitting on her chest.
She has made many online friends and got to befriend bloggers from different cultural backgrounds. She loved her blog, loved the attention she got, and loved the fans she never thought she would get. She has always wondered who are these "anonymous" people who leave comments under her blog! Why "anonymous"!?
While checking her email one day, she received an email from a stranger entitled "why the Blackness"?! It was from one of those anonymous commenters. She quickly clicked on the email which said:
Hi,
I had the pleasure to stumble upon your blog the other day, it was another uncontrolled Internet sailing of mine :) .... sailings that keep astonishing me by the findings. I only have one question to ask ..... why the blackness !! .... really .... I can just tell you that I've never ever seen a black blog in my whole Internet life (and that's long ...trust me:) ) .....
it's not like I have the right to dictate things here ...... but I think I can suggest ...... no matter how much you like black (I do sometimes :) ) .... please change it ..... and change it not only here .... in your whole life if you could .....
I didn't find a contact me form on your blog ...... so here I am .... sorry for the interruption :)
you can easly ignore this message if feel so
K
Thursday, 23 September 2010
Heart Accident 2
It was one reason that made Ibrahim grew fonder of her. She was his queen and the only woman he could ever see. A year after, Sara got pregnant again. After long months of pregnancy, she started to feel labour pain. She called Ibrahim who rushed like crazy to take her to the hospital. 3 hours passed and she was still in the LAD room with Ibrahim, his sister, mother, and mother-in-law praying outside for her.
The doctor came out congratulating them on their new princess. "We tried our best" said the doctor but Sara had to go.
Silence overwhelmed the place. Everybody was in disbelief but when Ibrahim's mother went to hug him, it snapped him out. He cried and weeped like a baby.He lost his soul mate, his love, his friend, his wife, and the mother of his two babies.
Joory, his little princess is now two years old, yet Ibrahim is still not himself.Their bedroom has been locked ever since. He has been sleeping in the guest room and he hasn't hugged nor kissed Joory at all, ever since her mom died. He would buy her clothes, milk and diapers but would never hold her.
Faisal came in the middle among her three brothers. He was the closest to her heart and the most understanding. He was 18 when he went on his own to UK to study his bachelor degree. He came back home with an honor degree which made her parents gay. A few weeks later, he had many offers in front of him, two of them were in UK. He was genuis and he deserved it. He didn't want to leave his house again though so, he accepted to work in Saudi Arabia. So many things have happened and Ibrahim needed a brother beside him.
Abdulaziz was the youngest, 10 years old and everybody's pet. He is the one when was asked what do you want to be when you grow up who answered saying " Train Driver".
Although Hind was only 18, a teenager as it should be, she was a mature woman. Seeing Ibrahim, her role model Romeo, shattering into pieces due to the loss of his wife, broke her heart. She wonderedif one day, she would find a guy who will be ready to kill for her. She has seen and heard of the million stories of girls' hearts being broken. However, deep inside, she had afeeling that her guy will be the one who compeletes her, the one who will never make her cry, the one who will never hurt her even if it was her mistake, the only one who if found out that she is in need, will run to give her a hug.
To Be Continued
Sunday, 12 September 2010
Heart Accident

She loved him, loved everything about him. She celebrated her 19th birthday and then 2 days after, she got married to him. Everybody objected, the age issue was one reason. She was daddy's girl though. Her dad loved her so much that he couldn't say no. She was still young when her heart skipped a beat when he accidently saw her while she was going out.
3 hours later, she got back home, tried to ask if any staranger came home for any of her brothers. No one came apparently as her mum said. What she didn't know is that he has been waiting outside for her. Stalking her wasn't his intention. He just wanted to make sure that she is not a visitor. He wanted her to be living in that house, why? He had no clue! He was in his car when her ride came back home. She was out forlunch with one of her friends he assumed. She kissed her friend goodbye and left. He could tell that her mobile was ringing as she was searching inside her LV. He could see her smile behind the veil she was wearing as she answered hello. She got in. He was surprised that it has been 10 minutes and he is still out waiting!!
She has wished to see him again but he never showed up. His name was Khalid, one of her brother's friends. She started checking every guy's face when out thinking it's him. She wondered if it's love but dismissed that idea so quickly. How could she love someone who she just saw for a minute!! Someone who doesn't even hold a name!!
To Be Continued
Wednesday, 8 September 2010
P.H.E.W!!

Friday, 20 August 2010
Guess who's back :D XD!!!

Tuesday, 29 December 2009
Can I undo it PLEASE!!
I accepted low salary at a tiring and blood sucking job just because I want to escape the gloomy atmosphere at my house. Don't get me wrong, my family is really patient and they don't complain but what kills is that each one of us is quiet, just waiting, just thinking, and just dreaming and praying.
In my last post, I talked about "Sara and Summer", the two lovely girls who study in my Grade 1 class and how torn they are because of their ill-relationship between their mum and dad which ended up with nothing but divorce.
Sara hasn't spoken a word since she joined school. If I pushed her to talk, she would whisper in my ears. Even her friends keep on asking why doesn't she talk!!
Summer had been more active than Sara, at least her voice was heard. However, Summer has totally collapsed since last month. I would call her name 5 times but she wouldn't reply as if she had just blacked out. Her behaviour changed for she became so quiet, she shivers all the time, and she just draws on her desk.
Her case has been occupying my mind as well as the other teachers. The only thing I feared was she being sexually harrassed. I took her aside one day, gave her some candies and asked her if there is anybody who touches her in her special area. She said yes.. but then said no.. I didn't know what to believe for she is a kid and sometimes kids would misunderstand things or get perplexed.
I met her dad today, sorry for my language but her dad is such an ass!! I don't know how I managed and didn't hit him in the face today.!!
He hasn't found a job till now, he has moved to Saudi for 6 months now and is still unemployed!! His dad is retired and his mum calls her grandchildren "donkeys" since they are the result of their stupid dad's behaviour. His 2 girls come to the school, spend 7 hours every day with one sandwhich and one juice only!! My other students' mums called me saying that their daughters put extra food for Summer and Sara to eat because they are always hungry. Today I told him that even if you're poor, a bag of sandwhich which contains 8 sandwhiches costs only 1 Riyal!! So, putting 2 sandwhiches won't bother!! Imagine what he said " No, it's not poorness but 1 sandwhich is enough for a 30 minute break"!!I told him they are only 7, they run and play and need energy and they finish this sandwhich in the 1st 5 minutes!!
I informed him about Summer's behaviour and how I am really worried that the child might be sexully harrassed. Imagine what he said!!?! He said "Yes, they had been.."!! Not only Summer, Sara and David were molested too..
I swear my blood was boiling and I stood up planning to hit him or even spit on his face!! He hardly spoke after I pushed him to and told us their tragic story..
Their mum was an addict, alchoholic, and moreover a prostitute.. The social service in US has arrested the mum and started an investigation about the 2 girls and their brother David. He had a restrain order from the court he said that he shouldn't approach them!! I told him how come you're restrained when you're their own father!! Did you honestly molest them?! He said No, but you know how americans treat Saudis!! I was like, come on! I can't buy this crap! Even if you have been ill-treated by the US, didn't you go back to the Saudi Embassy and ask for help?! He said yes but they didn't do anything!!
They were sexually harrassed but they don't know by who...
I can't write anymore...I am sorry..
Monday, 9 November 2009
Just Ranting

Wednesday, 23 September 2009
My mind is lost...

Sunday, 6 September 2009
It's the Fourth year daddy

Tuesday, 1 September 2009
Randoms
I am saying this again and again and again!I am sorry my dear blog and I am sorry my dearest readers for being such a bad-ass-blogger lol !
I swear I can hardly find some me time!
Since we flew our dear maid that I hate so much away, I have been working my ass off doing chores at home! I am a princess! I am never used to wiping, cleaning, washing dishes and cooking!
It used to be 2 chores a day but now in Ramadan, it's all messed up! A big house with no maid is the biggest disaster ever!!
4 months ago, our maid got sick, really sick! Her face was so big and her body was yellow and pale. We thought it was just an alergy so, we let her rest and sleep all day long while my sisters and I serve her. We cooked food for her, cleaned the house instead of her as well. She got worse so we took her to the hospital. They suspected her disease so they decided to put her in an isolated room fearing the disease to be contagious.
I was really worried on her and accompanied her in the hospital and made sure she is O.K. Even during the visiting time, I used to visit her with my sisters and bring her food and new clothes. I asked every visitor to wear a mask and cover their faces with the shaila because I was worried on her being hurt.
2 days after, the result came. She was O.K, nothing serious but there she had an infected lungs. The Doctor said that she wouldn't be able to work, use cleaning stuff and she should rest!!
Since we respect maids privacy, we don't search their luggages and rooms except when they arrive and when they departure. I went to clean her room and change the bed sheets and I was shocked! REAAAALLY shcoked!
I saw wonders!! Her bed was satined with blood and urine! Their was two big pots inside each other with dirty water inside them. There were 2 cups on top of each other, one with a peeled orange and the other with a rotten orange! There were some pads, stained ofcoruse! My siserts brand new T-shirts were found there. My missing Chanel watch was under the bed! Not to forget the big amount of money and jewlery! Even my neices rubber bands and hair clips were there!
Many many missing stuff were there that almost belonged to every member of the family. We asked a shaikh about some of the stuff we found there and he asked us to either burn them or toss them away in the ocean saying that these are pre-magic things. Her said we should be thankful that she got hospitalized so that her ugly truth got revealed!!
My mom was in denial!! She was like any one of us! She used to have her share of lunch that I wasn't even counted for when I was at work! My mom buys her every single thing she asks for and never takes money from her salary like what some families do!
The moment her treatment was over after spending 10 days at the hospital, her flight was out waiting for her. I went to her and told her that the doctor said we should get rid of everything she has and we did! We bought her new clothes, new bags and even asked her if she wanted to buy anything because we were afraid that she might have the intention of doing something more. Before she left the hospital, I told her that the doctor said she got her disease because she was filthy and that if she doesn't take care of her hygiene, cockroaches will come out of her skin!
So, yes we have been maid-less for 5 months now with never ending home chores!
On another note, we discovered that our neighbors, those who just have a wall seperating them from us were down with swine flu!!! You know how Saudis were lately in the streets with their masks on. We saw them entering and leaving with masks on and we were like, oh like everybody!!
But when we heard the news, we were really shocked!! They were having their daughter's wedding when a relative of them came from another country with the disease! 2 of the bride's youngest brothers got sick, 2 elderly women as well! They were all healed like a month ago but why didn't they inform us so that we become more cautious!!
On a third note, I got many birthday gifts :) :)
A blackberry
A fancy bag
A sexy shoes
3 perfumes
A funky T-Shirt
A wonderful set of candles craved with my name
A sweet necklace
And I know that more are yet to come :P
Thursday, 27 August 2009
Happpppppppppppy birthdaaaaaaaaaaaaay to meeeee
Tuesday, 25 August 2009
Garbage Trucks!

Friday, 21 August 2009
Wednesday, 12 August 2009
Congrats to the bride! Congrats to the groom!

Saturday, 8 August 2009
Sunday, 2 August 2009
Learning the Arabic language
As known, Saudi students when sent for scholarships abroad and in UK specifically, live with British families who consider them part of the family. Being with them helps in getting the language faster especially with everyday talk.
The British students "William, Maria, Jack, and Robinson" expressed their wish of being accepted by Saudi families in the summer to live with and hence learn the language through a letter that was distributed in facebook.
They reassured the saudi citizens that they are fully aware of their traditions and cultural differences. Robinsion expressed his sincere desire in learning the Khaleeji accent as he calls it for most of the British people who speak Arabic use either Egyptian or Syrian dialects.
Some Saudi guys loved the idea as it might transfer the image of Saudis being good at heart not as what some foreigners think of especially after 9/11 crisis which is still affecting some of the Saudi students who are studying abraod.
Some Saudis were harsh in their reactions that British living inside conservative Saudi families is a sin especially with the religion differences and the taboos of the Saudis.
In my own humble opinion, having students like these would be a great thing for both countries. It will wipe out the Saudi-Terror-Image and strengthen the bonds of both countries.
The question is of what type of families to live with??!It is a bit difficult especialy with Saudi Arabia being known as the 1st and the most strict country in its traditions, segregation, and male dominant society which is a big hinder. However, those students can be hosted by some families who are quite open to such things and I guess those would exist in compunds that are being mingled with foriegners and Saudis. Having these two big diversities together let each part stoop to conquer which at the end resulted in mutual understanding and harmony between each other.
Thursday, 23 July 2009
Don't copy if you can't paste!

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience.
He Said : "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"
The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"
Laughter and applause were heard.
A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink. He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"
The wife went; "ah!" with shock and rage. Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "....and I can't remember who she was!"
By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water
Moral of the story:
Don't copy if you can't paste!
Thursday, 16 July 2009
To you and only to you!







